THE ANGONY OF LOVE = SUFFERING. Tuesday, July 17, 2007
it's midnight and i'm on the com.
i cant sleep, i cant think.
thoughts running in my mind.
feeling stressed up.
i'm not the one for you.
never was i.
my day was totally alright.
from school till after school.
till i went out with sweety.
till i realised that we've to pick him up when we're already at TANAH MERAH.
retarded isnt it.
he persisted hence i had to go too.
eugene boarded.
they both started chattering TILL 'PENINSULAR'.
and i sat in the bus lying at the side, looking out the window.
feeling like vomiting.
no one took notice.
reached there.
had lunch.
walked around.
and they went it to like 3-4 shops i think.
i waited outside because i dont fancy guitars.
oblivously i'd stand outside.
i dont wanna be extra.
standing inside is bad enough cause the shop people would think 'eh why this girl here'?
'she doesnt like guitars'. WHATEVER.
i dont fancy them. i never did.
yeah hurt you.
DID YOU REALISE HOW MUCH YOU HURT ME?
you're always thinking for yourself and your friends.
you never once would say oh it's not your fault.
it's alway mine anyway.
if you think i'm such a _________ than just say so.
even when we go out, with a phone call from eugene, you'd say OKAY.
and i've to listen to you.
he's so cocky.
he doesnt realise that his words would poke into others.
AND IT'S MY FAULT!
i really dont understand you.
i never did.
and dreh.
i sat down with jess cause she wanted to like think of what to eat.
and i heard 'JAMES CONTROL YOUR WOMAN LAHZ'
what have i done?
nothing.
before i walked to them.
i even had to breathe in and out.
just to not let them realise that my eyes are teary.
AT MACS.
you left with him just because he wanted to use your laptop.
YOU LEFT ME THERE ALONE.
all i asked is 'are you leaving me alone again'
you said YES.. BYE.
walked away.
came back cause you cant find the plug.
WHAT AM I TO YOU?
when you need me, you'd come. when you dont, you'll just cut me off.
i had enough of things in school already.
and you're adding to it.
people in love, are happy.
i in love, torturing.
restrictions.
just plain nonsense.
sweety, i already did gave up things for you.
i even followed you whenever you said you wanna go to a guitar shop.
i followed.
why do you say i love you for?
a joke.
a phrase which has no meanings.
just what.
yeah. you think that when you try to talk to me, i ignore you.
i keep acting as though the whole world revolves around me.
and everyone must listen and give in to me.
who would say that?
just you.
simply you.
so like you.
you talk to me?
ya HALF THE TIME YOU'RE TALKING TO EUGENE.
you just left me there when YOUR FRIENDS ARE THERE.
when they're there, i'm nothing.
when i'm there, you will be like oh baby i love you.
leave me alone will you.
stop making me cry all the time.
it's torturing.
you dont wanna give a shit about me or anything, just go.
if you think that EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT.
and not put yourself in my shoes.
IT FUCKING HURTS.
